Hesitation

When I think about this blog part of me is excited as I enjoy tinkering around with things such as this. Part of me feels like a cry baby, why do I feel special enough to post my here & there for all the world to read? I am kind of a proud guy (which can be a fault) and I don't usually like talking about myself, especially trails, and cringe when the focus of attention is on me. This is not because I am shy but maybe more so a tinge of feeling unworthy of the attention or a feeling of being unsure how to act. It is a weird feeling being told you have something major wrong with your health, especially when for all purposes you feel ok. It is a weird feeling having friends and family being sincerly concerned about your health. Hard to explain when you are used to for lack of a better, pointing at someone else but now three fingers are pointing back at you. Not to mention the obvious there are so many people in the world suffering worse then me. I haven't even got into the nitty-gritty but yet I still find myself thinking that I am a whiner, after all real men are to hold it in and act like there are no issues.


Tonight at church http://www.jfc.org/ our pastor spoke of being humble and that God is on the side of those who are humble & express humility. Could it be that the best people take risks, open up. I have all my life felt the truly strong, powerful, wise were those who wore their feelings on their sleeves. They allowed themselves to take risks where they might get hurt or look like a fool, express humility. People may think this is a Woe is We blog but I can't control that. If they can't see I'm just a guy with a unique condition talking about my life then so be it. It is what it is and nothing more.


So I guess before going to the current or future I should post on the past.